Belief

I could feel the pain running through my eyes. But no one else could figure it out. Everyone was busy running around & saving their bodies from rain. I was still sitting on the bench and the every continuous rain was trying to wake me up. The rain was trying to wake me up from the dream. It was a dream which was on the verge of breaking. My fear was multiplying and my eyes were drowned in the sea of negativity. I decided to end it all now. No more pain, no more indecisiveness and no more tears. I looked around and saw a child playing freely and my incessant tears continued.

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“I want to fly high” I said with a smile.

“Fly? Do you even know how to walk in life” My mother said.

“I will, directly, learn to fly” I said and laughed.

“Really? We will see.” My mother said and went off.

We both were fighting over my improbable future. I wanted to become a writer and my parents wanted me to do a 9 to 5 job and earn money. It was so normal to them that they never ever talk to me regarding anything else. They used to tell me that people do the job, take a loan and repay them in order to live happily. I mostly counter them by saying “A loan can never give happiness”. They had already termed me as a “Foolish person”.

I was about to complete my college and was all set to, choose my career as a writer. I knew that initially I would not be able to generate money, but was confident to grow as a writer with few years of time. I was sure that if I would do what I ever wanted to do, I will surely not face the monetary problems. It was all about the transition phase. I was confident that my parents and all those who loved me will be with me in this decision.

But destiny had its own say.

“I am going to become a writer” I told them on completion of my Masters.

“What? How many more years you required?” My mother said.

“I am sure within 1 or 2 years I will be able to do good” I said with confidence.

“1 or 2 years? That’s why you spent money on the Masters and that too in business?” My mother was shocked.

“Yes, only while doing my masters I realized that I am good at it. I have written since my school days and now I wanted to take it professionally” I said.

“No, you will not get enough money. We have already invested a lot in you. First give us back that money” My mother said.

“What? Investment? I am not a bank account” I said in amazement.

“No, you have to do a job and while doing the job you can do anything and that’s final” My mother said and closed the door in haste and anger.

I looked at her and it was evident from her anger that she was not in a mood to listen. I went off to my room and sat on a chair. I was quite disturbed at what happened today. I closed my eyes in hopes of a dream. But it was all real.

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“When will you learn to learn” My boss shouted at me.

“..” I was standing quietly.

“Do you ever understand that we are paying you the salary and we need output from you” My boss was fuming.

“Yes Sir, I understand,” I was quite dull and slow.

“I don’t know, do whatever you want to and bring out results otherwise I have to take some harsh decision” My boss said and went off.

I came out of the conference room and went out of my office. My mind was starting to become numb. I was feeling as if I was just dragging myself to live. I was still writing, but all after the office hours. With my mind divided in 2 things, I was unable to take a feel of completeness of one thing. Even as of now I was all ready to take writing as my career.

“I want to give up my job,” I said to my father.

“What? No son, you should not.” My father replied.

“I am not able to concentrate on the job due to it” I tried to tell him the truth.

“So then leave your writing for some years. Writing is not so important. You can write after retirement also” My father tried to teach me the truth.

I was a bit shocked. For me, writing has become an integral part of my life and when someone tries to show the importance of it according to them, it hurts a lot. When my father told me that, I understood that they will never let me what I wanted to do.

“Money is more important in life. You will understand it afterwards and then there will be no time” He told me.

“Money? I will also have money through writing. I will only have to invest my few years” I again tried to tell him.

“What is the guarantee that you will start earning money with this? There is no surety. So do a job and earn money. While doing a job you can write also. Learn to be on the safer side.” He said and went off.

I was all dejected and out of my mind,. I told them everything I could, but they were not in a position to understand my side. They termed my ambitions and goal of writing as an immature decision. They even said that one day I will have to regret about this. They were clear that they are by no means allowing me to follow writing as full time.

In shear dejection I went out of my room. I started walking and my eyes were all wet. I loved my parents and used to think that they are best ever person alive in the earth. I looked at the sky and it started raining. Within few seconds the rain became heavy. I was still walking slowly. Everyone around me was in haste. I looked around and saw a bench.

I could feel the pain running through my eyes. But no one else could figure it out. Everyone was busy running around & saving their bodies from rain. I was still sitting on the bench and the every continuous rain was trying to wake me up. The rain was trying to wake me up from the dream. It was a dream which was on the verge of breaking. My fear was multiplying and my eyes were drowned in the sea of negativity. I decided to end it all now. No more pain, no more indecisiveness and no more tears. I looked around and saw a child playing freely and my incessant tears continued. I looked at the child and his smile. He was looking all free and fresh. He was enjoying every single moment and spreading smiles with his.

I stood up and started walking with all dejected thoughts. I saw a school of disable children. I was amazed looking at them. They all were enjoying the rain with each other. They were smiling and dancing. I saw on my left and someone was carrying a big glass. I saw my image in it. I was all sad and dejected. All contrast to them.

“What I didn’t have” I asked to self.

I again saw towards those children. I was all superior to them with respect to physicality, but was nowhere near to them in living my life to the fullest. Those children left me in awe. It left me with a stark contrast of life.

“Am I too weak for the situation around me” I again tried to find the answer.

 

“No, I will not fall apart” I said to myself while wiping my tears off.

“I will show them that what they think is wrong” I was in a mood of revenge.

As I stood and began to move I saw a museum. I don’t know, but there was something that was trying to force me to enter inside it. The name of the museum was – “The greatest Visionary”

I went inside the museum and started walking around. There were numerous heroes of their times. From the freedom fighter to the golden writers, they were from every corner of the world. Suddenly I was all surprised and inspired by it. I continued looking at their photos and I saw bookshelves. It was all filled with their autobiographies and stories. It was the time when I started reading them.

“Trin Trin” My mobile rang.

“Where are you” My mother inquired.

“I am in the museum” I told her.

“Ok. I was just worried about you. It is raining heavily for the past 6 hours” My mother said.

“Yes, I am fine,” I said and disconnected the phone.

I came out of the museum and looked at the sky. There was sheer darkness due to clouds. It was raining heavily but I was feeling light. I was not at all irritated or dejected now. I started walking in the rain and there were few children playing football. I started playing with them and enjoyed my time a lot. After finishing the game I realized that I have learned few important things while reading those things. As I was coming towards my home, I heard a voice.

“Oh Robin,” I said.

“You are looking so fresh” He said.

“Really?” I laughed    

“I saw you walking off few hours back in a heavy mood” He said.

“Oh, that was just overflowing emotion. Forget those moments.” I said with a smile.

I started walking towards my home again. I have read about all those great souls, their lives, their misery and their determination. I was awestruck at the situations they faced and yet came out of them. I have learned a thing called “Determination” and promised myself to rise. I promised self to stick to my passion. I learned the lesson of humility. I learned to give respect to the people and to your goals. I recalled how the attitudes bring a talented personality down to the ground. I realized the importance of overall growth. That museum taught me few very major things which were surely going to impact my life in a very positive way. I started to feel lucky about so many things that I posses which I was overlooking when I was dejected. In dejection we forget to respect the positivity in us. We stop giving importance to the things that we admire earlier. We should come out of negativity. I promised myself to live, no matter what happens. As I was walking, suddenly I met someone.

“You are DV right?” He said.

“”Yes, I am,” I said.

“I like your poems” He said

“Really?” I was a bit surprised.

“Yes, I am in the same group as you are in” He said and we started talking about writing.

While talking to him I started to understand new facets of writings and started to think beyond my problems. It gave me a new freshness and a feel of living my passion. I started understanding the real meaning of passion and about following that passion. Last 6 hrs had given a lot to think about and to follow. I was more confident and determined with all negativities disappearing from my thoughts.

I entered my house and my mom said.

“Tomorrow you have to go to the job”

“Yes, surely I will,” I said with a smile. There was no anger and no disappointment.

I knew exactly - what and how I have to do things to set it right. I have gained a lot of positivity. I went inside the room and closed the door. I started my laptop and connected to the internet. I started searching more and more positivity to create the history. 

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